What is it about horizons, our need to meet them, to explore what’s beyond? What is it about greener pastures, about breaking out in order to move forward, to improve?
I’m trying something new this summer, and when pressed about it I’m not always able to say exactly why. It’s the right time? Just trying a new path? In many ways what I’m doing now isn’t so different from what I’ve been up to, in others it’s entirely fresh and divergent. Despite all that, when I really ask myself about what’s going on, the words that speak the most to me are opportunity, exploration and growth.
This summer I’m working at a small ski field in the South Island of New Zealand. Not too long ago I’d never even heard of this place, and I’ll admit, New Zealand was never really that high on my list of places I wanted to visit or work. But here I am, taking advantage of an opportunity that wouldn’t last long, traveling, exploring, learning, and discovering a million hidden secrets along the way. I’m loving it really, but I’ll be honest, my mind continues to crank away and try to figure out the reason and purpose of what I’m doing. And while I don’t alltogether mind this mental preoccupation, sometimes I have to just let myself appreciate what is, to step back and just bask in the nowness of what I’m doing, the joy it gives me and the many things I’ve discovered.
When I was 17 and finishing high school all I could think about was getting out. Getting out of school, out of my house and out of the small town I’d grown up in. Really, none of these things were that bad, and looking back now I’m filled with gratitude and love for these places ain my life, but at the time I knew I needed something new, I didn’t know what, but I knew I needed to get out and find out.
I didn’t know why this is the cure, getting out, and I’m inclined to think of all my friends who didn’t “get out”, or who got out and returned, how I’m sure they managed to explore, learn and grown in their own ways. But I guess we’re each so different, and some of us will just always feel the need to cast off and see what’s out there, and what’s inside.
After leaving high school, over the next decade I continued to travel, to search , to learn, to explore and attempt to improve. If you’re a reader of this journal, you know I eventually started to travel and explore monstly under my own power, mostly by means of a bicycle, and that some of the insights and experiences I had during these pilgrimages were the most powerful of my life. Yet somehow I failed to appreciate the very real, obvious and practical benifits of this experience, or to confront the challenging lessons it offered. For these reasons I’ve got a very fond but also remorseful memory of those experiences. How often are the most precious things squandered, missed when they’re right in front of you, and the bigger beauties blurred by your own vision?
That time in my life isn’t over, but getting on a plane and traveling half way around the world wan’t exactly the next logical evolution either. That’s why I feel so much like this time now isn’t entirely different, while being so completely new. It feels more just kind of like where life has lead me, obviously I’ve played my part and seeked out opportunities but it’s also apparent that I’m not done growing and that I need to continue to explore for my own health and those with who I share my life.
I’m sure I could have done this in many different ways, and honestly I’m quite often longing for the western summers I left behind, but this place, this path, holds treasures and lessons I know can’t be found elsewhere.
You never really konw what type of opportunities will present themselves, or which ones you’ll choose or how they’ll play out in your life. But keeping an open mind and honest understanding of your path can offer a way to take advantage of the small things you might not otherwise discover.
I want to continue to explore, to understand and improve for my entire life, I want to always strive to be a better person, but I don’t necessarily always want to think I have to go somewhere other than where I am to achieve that. I don’t hink I do, really, but I do believe that the world is big and our place in it is small. I think that bad habits are hard to break and good ones harder to build. I think getting out and seeing what’s out there teaching humility, humor, and understanding. I think there’s a link between movment and growth, and a reason why when we’re feeling stuck or like it’s time for a change we have to set off and discover it. I’m not sure what this link is, where it is or how strong it can be, but I intend to find out, and I’ll let you know when I do.