It’s part of every traveler’s journey, we get stranded. It’s never what you want and rarely exactly what you expect. We run aground. Sometimes it’s as easy as jumping in knee deep water and pushing off again, other times you’ve got to wait till the tide changes. Occasionally, but not often, the ship breaks up and you’re cast adrift.
We get stranded in different ways, for different reasons, and in different places. Stranded on the side of the road, stranded at home, stranded at our parents house. It’s humbling, being stranded, and somewhat humiliating. We’ve lost, for a time, the ability to remove ourself from a situation, or carry on with the the plan we had made.
As I write this I am stranded, I’m doing my best to embrace the moment for what it is, and move through it as skillfully as possible. Despite the specific details of my own current situation, I believe there are some commonalities to being stranded, and it struck me that taking a moment to acknowledge them might help us all the next time we’re stranded.
Stress
This is the most challenging aspect of being stranded, as when a plan gets off track it can quickly cast many aspects of your journey into doubt. Acknowledging that you are giving up some control of the situation helps manage this stress, as does focusing on your next most actionable step. If you are successful with acknowledging you’ve lost some control, and have gotten as much as you can done for the moment, take time to care for yourself. Going for a walk, stretching, drinking tea, reading and writing are all great ways to deal with stress. Remember that it’s easy to be hard on yourself for failing, for getting yourself into this situation in the first place. It’s okay to be a little critical later, when you’re ready to learn from the experience, but for the time being try and be forgiving and accepting. This is your new norm, work through it.
Faith
The true antidote to stress. Call it what you will, faith, trust, relinquishment, cultivating a state of mind that attempts to understand your being stranded as an inevitable, possibly even growth-encouraging part of your journey could not only help us deal with the stress better, but help turn the experience of being stranded into a learning opportunity and something you can benifit from.
Gratitude, humility.
We need help. When we become truly stranded, quite often the circumstances will be beyond our individual ability to solve. Maybe we’re injured, maybe we’re broke, maybe the landscape ahead is just so wildly new we need advice on how to navigate. Whatever the case, reach out to anyone who can help. They might say no, they might not be currently able, but maybe, they will. Being stranded can be embarrassing amongst a society who so easily and quickly rejects anyone or anything that isn’t moving full steam ahead on their own power, but we need to swallow our pride, know where to ask for help, and how to accept it. If you’re struggling to find help, be patient, have faith, and remember that things will work out, you’ll find help where you need it, work hard. For those of you uneasy with accepting help, get over yourself, be grateful for the grace and generosity of other humans, whether they’re in our family or not. It’s not easy to ask for help, and it might be just as hard to accept it.
Tenacity.
You’ve got to have grit. You’re going to get dirty. This shit does not happen to professional people with secure jobs, it happens to people who are living closer to the fringe, being creative, and living with purpose and passion that aren’t often found in the security of normal life. Again, make sure to be grateful for the support of the people who are living those lives, if you’re lucky enough to have it. Either way, stay strong, get focused, do what you can, this is a test.
Protection
You’ll get out of this. One way or another, eventually, you’ll end up in a better situation. Be patient, work hard, and make it happen. Once you are, make sure you make time to internalize this experience, so that you might be prepared or protected against it in the future. After the fires have been put out and you’ve gained a little perspective through time, this is when it becomes a little more productive to be critical of your role in the situation, and what might have lead to it. Everyday’s a school day, as they say, but you haven’t learned a thing if it happens to you again. Improvise. Overcome. Adapt. Then get ready for the next bullshit.
Humor
Life is a funny little circle that we all keep rolling around on. Sometimes it takes us right back to familiar places but the circumstances have changed. I’m a little in awe at the serendipity of my current situation and have to believe that helps me deal with all the other frustration and stress. Try and maintain a sense of good humor however that might be possible. Don’t be afraid of laughing at yourself and making light of the situation. People get it, they’ve probably been there before and can offer you understanding that will help shed some necertainty.
Keep moving, you never know where this life is going to take you.