What up party people!? I’ve returned from my vow of digital abstenence and bring with me deep realizations, shallow epiphanies and nuggets of truth and dingleberry. While I saw some breathtaking beauty and some gut wrenching ugliness, most everything was just plain old beautiful ordinary life.
For over month I cut myself off from the InstaFace and what did I learn? What have I gained? More to the point what have I missed?!
Upon invoking my vow I immediately observed some alarming habits: one, that it’s not necessarily the platform but the screen that we are hopelessly addicted to and two, that the silence is real!
I say we because while I may exhibit my own tendencies, it really is challenging for many of us to go through daily life without using a computer or staring at a screen. Phone calls, texts, emails, even if its not your phone, if you’re not communicating with someone ass to mouth you’ve probably got a phone between the cheeks.
After a little bit of time went by I observed a less alarming, but also kind of uncomfortable truth: silence. Cut off from our habitual distractions, the world, the ‘real’ world, the outside world in particular, is beautifully, blissfully, amazingly silent. Although this can at times be unsettling in its own way, especially considering our tendencies to favor noise and conversation, overall it seems to be an incredibly rejuvenating experience. No surprise there.
Was I any more productive or introspective with my time? Hell no. But it takes time. At first I completely shifted my addictions towards Netflix binging and avalanche research, before ultimately realizing that most of what I was doing during “screen time” was a complete waste of time, and making practical changes to be productive without the use of a screen.
Like a fat kid getting into the water I didn’t just rush back into the warm cleft of social media. After the time came I made an effort to savor and catalogue my experience, and to slowly re-introduce myself to the different genres while gauging new and habitual reactions. This isn’t easy, not for one person, not after only a month, and not for someone who does as poor a job as me as recording the development of thoughts and trends over any given time.
What I have realized is what we already know, only know I feel it a little bit deeper, I understand it a little bit more. We tend to share only what we think will be received the best, we tend to show only our most proud moments. Even when we’re struggling, we don’t necessarily have a language for communicating what we’re going through. We might be likely to announce just how good it feels when we’re back on the mood upswing, and re-iterate how important it is to announce when we might not be at our best, but we still lack the ability to share those graphically mundane or depressing parts of life. All of this is well and good, but like I knew getting into it: it’s fake as shit, or at least, it doesn’t tell the whole story.
How, why and what we choose to share with our friends and family on social media is very much usually on track with some greater narrative we have about ourselves. When events or experiences don’t fall in with this theme we often lack the initiative or ability to share them. But they are part of who we are and where we’re going, regardless if we can’t seem to understand the context.
But I don’t think the problem lies in just what we want to share, but also in our ability to listen, to communicate about the flaws and fallacies of the world at large. We don’t do well with death, loss, grief, or despair. We want good vibes only. We want humor, freedom, and lightheartedness. We don’t know how to listen or react to bad shit, which is troubling because when you step outside of these bubbles, it’s very difficult to ignore the fact that the world is fucked. Not that there isn’t a lot to be happy, stoked, or content with, but thing’s aren’t really looking that great in a lot of ways, especially in our country currently.
I have to acknowledge that also maybe this isn’t entirely true. Maybe it’s just my natural tendency to want to DO something, to effect change that makes me feel this way. Maybe things are fine and I van’t even realize it. That’s another one of the maddening things about our society, there are very few relevant and respected sources that can agree on what is going on or what is the general direction of the world we live in. In other words: there is a lot of fucked up shit going on now a days.
Maybe social media is becoming a kind of enclave where we can foster creativity and positive social strength, but would that really be of practical importance to improving the world at large or just a place where we can sniff each other’s farts and exclaim how great they smell? So far I feel like I’ve yet to see the InstaFace spit out nuggets of positivity that might not have developed elsewhere.
We’re there to support women when it’s their day, gun victims on a Tuesday, black people probably not. The truth is my window into this world is so small it doesn’t begin to paint a good picture of it’s hole, but I can’t help believe that these conclusions don’t have some aspect of validity.
So what the fuck is the point? And why am I coming back? Well, I like to share, and despite how often I like to be alone, it’s nice to be a part of something bigger. Whether that’s your family, your friends, or your community, each of these layers provides much needed support and inspiration for our individual paths.
I’ve got no idea what this path looks like, and unlike many of the people I’m friends with in the InstaFace world, I’m not trying to leverage anything or be concerned with my or anyone’s brand. Fuck your brand, fuck all the brands. Be real, be nice, try hard do good.
One other thing I wanted to say and haven’t fit in here anywhere else is this: freedom is impossible, at least, in the way we often search for it. We can’t run away from anything seeking to be free, and I think that includes this fucked up world. We are part and parcel of everything we experience, everything we share in. Even if we succeed in running away from our problems or things that concern us they will define our trajectory. They will always be a part of who we are. To truly find freedom we must embrace those things which bring us the most fear and insecurity. I don’t know exactly how to apply this or in exactly what context it might be true but I believe it very strongly right now.
That’s it. It’s good to be back. I missed you all.